


Stress

by Varil_Lara



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: (sorry), God what was I thinking?, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Probably poorly written smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 23:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17192411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varil_Lara/pseuds/Varil_Lara
Summary: Agent Stern finds himself relaxing with the help of Barclay.





	Stress

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this was meant for Christmas but I'm late as usual. This ain't anything special really, but this pairing needs more done for it. Also, my first time ever writing something sexual so be warned; it's kinda shitty.

The entire situation was absurd, not to mention completely against protocol. The guidelines set by the FBI were there for a reason and on any other day, Stern would have felt ashamed about straying from them. He was a professional after all, and the inability to follow basic rules contradicted the entire image an FBI agent was supposed to have. At this moment, however, he couldn’t give a fuck. He was currently in his room at the Amnesty Lodge, having what was arguably his most enjoyable experience since he’d arrived in Kepler. It certainly wasn’t the weirdest. 

All manner of strange things seemed to happen in Kepler yet, somehow, Stern had failed to find anything worth-while. That, along with the fact that everyone at the lodge seemed to be trying their best to avoid him, caused this to become one of the worst missions he’d ever been on. Not the most dangerous mission, not by a long shot, but certainly the most unproductive. 

The video of Bigfoot had seemed so real, and Ned Chicane’s reluctance to tell him anything had just furthered his suspicions. But as the months pressed on, his hope had begun to wane- everything vaguely interesting leading to nowhere in the end. There was the mysterious woman known as ‘Mama’, but any conversation he managed to squeeze out of her was brief and unhelpful. Then there had been the screaming from the basement, but his attempt to investigate had been blocked by Barclay, the Amnesty Lodge chef, who had waved the noise off before ushering him inside for a cup of tea. Not long after that, a sinkhole had randomly opened up in the middle of town and, whilst not the Bigfoot he was looking for, Stern had been sure it would lead him somewhere. Only it didn’t. His investigation of it was over almost as soon as it began.

Stern was a man who took his job seriously, and liked to think that he always gave it everything he had, so the fact that he was getting absolutely nowhere was frustrating to say the least. He’d attempted to relax and focus on getting information out of the locals, hoping that perhaps they’d know something, but this, unfortunately, only emphasised the fact that everyone at the lodge seemed to dislike him. The only interaction he had with them was often no more than a polite nod, or a ‘good day’, before they fled into another room. Usually, he would mark this behaviour as suspicious, but in this case he just found himself being a little hurt- not that he would admit it. 

It was for that reason that he made it somewhat of a secondary mission to have an actual, useful conversation with someone at the lodge. He reasoned with himself that it was because he needed information, and not because he was getting bored and lonely. The person he’d chosen to target for conversation was Barclay. Mama would have been preferable, but the chances of getting her to talk were slim to none, and Barclay seemed to be that next best thing. That, and Barclay was the only person who wasn’t completely obvious about avoiding him. That, and he was kind of attractive, which Stern definitely didn’t care about and would never let influence his job. He was professional after all- 

-which only served to make his current situation all the more embarrassing. 

He’d been successful in talking to Barclay (although the man had seemed nervous at first) and whilst he didn’t get any information, it had actually been very enjoyable. Barclay was warm and welcoming, and Stern found himself trusting him with more information he definitely should have. The fact that he was attractive, despite Stern’s denial, might have also played a role in it.

As it turned out, he and Barclay shared quite a few interests, and led surprisingly similar lives. Barclay too had an interest in the unknown, though was more of a sceptic, and also liked adventure. Stern’s monster hunting was probably not what Barclay had in mind when he talked about adventures, but that was beside the point. What the actual point of these conversations was, Stern wasn’t quite sure, but it was the most relaxed he’d been in weeks. 

It wasn’t long before Stern found himself asking Barclay out for dinner at one of the local restaurants. He wasn’t sure if he’d intended it as a date, but it turned out being one in the end because Barclay had kissed him. Or kissed him back rather, since Stern had been the one to initiate it, but it happened either way. It happened again on their second date as well, and on their third, which Barclay had suggested this time. Then again on their fourth date, only the kissing didn’t stop when they got back to the lodge, nor when they finally made it to Stern’s room. 

Barclay had fallen back onto the bed and sat there, watching Stern scrabble to get undressed. He’d been jittery, and had fumbled with the buttons on his jacket before moving onto the knot of his tie, acutely aware of Barclay’s gaze. The moment the items of clothing were off and thrown to the side, he’d found himself being pulled into a warm lap with lips being pressed against his once again. One small, nagging part of his mind had tried to remind him that engaging in these sorts of activities, with people he was meant to be interrogating, was strictly against protocol. When Barclay flipped him round and began kissing the back of his neck that part of his brain quickly shut up. 

And that’s where he was now; in his room at the Amnesty Lodge, having his most enjoyable experience since he’d arrived. 

He squirmed slightly in Barclay’s lap, trying and failing to control his breathing. At one point, his trousers, and underwear, had been pulled down to his ankles, leaving him exposed to the cool air of the room. Barclay’s hand had removed itself from his waist and was now gently playing with his cock, thumbing slow, teasing circles around the head.  
Stern bit back a moan as the hand moved down to the base, fingers pressing lightly, before moving back up and repeating. Barclay’s tongue flicked out against the back of his neck and he screwed his eyes shut, shuddering at the sensation. 

“You okay?” the other man’s voice was low and rough, but still as warm as usual, and the sound went straight to his cock. 

Stern whimpered (no, he most certainly did not whimper) out a ‘yes’ and Barclay began to pump his cock faster. Heat began to rise in his body and one of his hands clamped down onto Barclay’s thigh. The grip around his cock tightened and Stern moaned, throwing his head back, eyes wide. He could see Barclay looking at him, lust visible in his eyes, and he would’ve flushed if he wasn’t already doing so. There was something else in his eyes as well, something that looked to be a mix of fear and triumph, but Stern couldn’t be bothered to decode it. Not now. 

He began to buck his hips in time with Barclay’s strokes, eager for more friction. He could only imagine how he must’ve looked, there in the dimly lit room; needy, and desperate, and writhing in pleasure. 

Barclay leant down to kiss him, beard tickling Sterns face as he did so. It was a sensation that he hadn’t quite gotten used to and it, along with everything else (Barclay’s hand on his cock, the feeling of their bodies pressed together, the heat, the smell, the taste), was enough to finally push him over the edge. He came with a low groan, spilling over Barclay’s fist and dripping onto his legs, his stress melting away with it. The air seemed to leave his lungs and he pulled away from the kiss to take a breath. 

After what felt like an eternity, Stern pushed himself off of Barclay’s lap, wobbling slightly as he did so. He took a moment to right himself, along with another deep breath, before turning back around. His eyes raked over Barclay, taking in the sight of him. His hair was mussed slightly, and Stern could faintly make out his lips under his beard- pink and slightly swollen. His cock was tenting his pants and Stern realised he hadn’t gotten off yet. 

“Do you want me to,” he gestured vaguely at Barclay, hoping he could convey his question successfully. 

Smiling, Barclay shook his head.

“Only if you want to, it’s not really a problem,”

Somehow, Stern doubted that. He moved closer and sank to his knees. 

“Honestly, I insist. It’s only fair,”

Barclay's eyes widened, and he shook his head again. Stern wondered what he was so anxious about. 

“No, really, only if you-“

“Barclay,” Stern cut him off, “I want to,”

Barclay seemed to turn something over in his mind before nodding, standing up from the bed. Stern shuffled back. There was an audible swallow as he removed his belt and began to lower his pants; freeing his cock, which now was only centimetres from Sterns face. 

Taking it in his hand, Stern gave it a few experimental tugs before bringing it to his lips. His tongue lapped at the head, causing Barclay to groan above him. Fingers threaded through his hair, urging him forward, and Stern complied, swallowing him down as much as he could. He gagged slightly, hands digging into the flesh at the back of Barclay’s thighs, then began to pull himself back. Before he could withdraw fully, Barclay gave a sharp thrust of his hips and Stern found his nose buried in the thatch of hair that grew around his crotch. He moaned low in the back of his throat as his tongue attempted to move around the intruding member. 

Barclay continued to thrust as Stern looked up at him, eyes lidded with lust. After taking a few seconds to get used to the rhythm, Stern began to bob his head in time, moaning each time Barclay hit the back of his throat. Saliva ran down his chin, and he removed his hands from Barclay’s thighs, sliding them up and under the front of his shirt. His fingers played over his stomach and ran through the hair on his chest.

This was exactly what Stern had needed. It was the most relaxed he’d been in weeks, which was strange considering he was basically having his face fucked, and if it was against FBI guidelines then that was just something he could deal with later (in the event that they ever found out- which was highly unlikely).

The rhythm of Barclay’s thrusts began to falter, and a not long later he was coming off in Stern’s mouth. He attempted to swallow as much as he could, but some still ended up leaking onto his chin as Barclay pulled out. 

There was silence in the room as Barclay tucked himself back into his pants. He walked away and Stern though for a second that he was leaving, but he instead returned with the tie and suit jacket that were discarded earlier. The bed creaked as Barclay sat back on it, watching as Stern redressed himself. 

Unsure of what to do next, Stern sat down next to him before flopping onto his back. It had been a while since he acted so casually, so… unguarded. He heard Barclay chuckle as he lowered himself to lie next to him, throwing an arm over him as he did. He smiled and Stern wondered how he could look so charming and laid-back after what had just happened. 

They lay there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Barclay pushed himself up, heading towards the door. He stopped as if he’d forgotten something, turned back around, and made his way over to Stern, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. 

“I need to go sort some things out with Mama. It’s probably gonna take up all of tomorrow, but I was thinking that the day after we go to watch a film, or maybe a walk through the forest?”

Stern tried to reply, but his voice seemed to fail him so he nodded instead. 

Kissing him one more time, Barclay turned and left, shutting the door gently behind him. The room was silent except for the thudding of Sterns' heart. The stress he’d been feeling since he’d arrived in Kepler had disappeared and was replaced with a new sense of determination. Sitting up, he looked towards the window that overlooked Kepler and the forest just past it. If there something out there, he was going to find it. After all, he’d feel bad leaving Barclay here with a possible Bigfoot.

**Author's Note:**

> There's something just so hilarious to me about a guy going to hunt Bigfoot, only to end up unknowingly falling in love with (or at least getting fucked by) said Bigfoot- so naturally, the moment Agent Stern appeared, I shipped him with Barclay. Also, to people who write sex scenes regularly; how? I wrote the word 'cock' then had to walk away for a full ten minutes because I was laughing so much.


End file.
